Issue 102 BE THE SHIFT - MIRROR CONSCIOUSNESS
As I got up today, I could feel myself being in the beginning of a lesson. When those days begin, I know that I am to pay close attention to many perspectives. I must be in spiritual investigation mode. I am going to be in my hellish state of mind with people and environment. I am not to know what is coming but realize there will be a theme. There will be a projection of a unresolved continued story. I will be thrown off my center of happiness. I am to pay attention to what stands out and to put on the shelf to be examined when the time comes.
MY STATE OF MIND: I feel angry towards my husband. I can feel myself, before even speaks, being annoyed for no good reason. Thank God, for I understand the quantum mirror of soul consciousness. We soon will find out.
OBSERVED: My husband was all loving and being in sync with me. I am the one that is out of sync with our relationship.
CONTINUATION OF: I asked the day before on the 27th to heal my bronchial tubes. I found bitterness. Now to take a deeper meaning to the negative trapped emotions. Some trapped emotions can really teach you lessons.
BITTERNESS SERVES: Why would I want bitterness to serve me? When I used to hear people say that your sickness serves you, I would become perplexed. My first conscious thought is “No it doesn't, that is ridiculous”. Secondly, I could let embarrassment and shame overcome me. I would go in the normal reaction of explaining to save face.
EMOTIONAL SYMPTOMS: I can't seem to shake being mad. I am taking offense to everything. I am annoyed by his presence of his voice.
PHYSCIALLY: I feel my nerves are on their last legs. I just want to jump and run. I can't take anymore of this.
MENTALLY: Denigrating my husband. I am finding everything and anything annoying. I am dwelling and mulling over his words. Oh God, here we go again. He is telling me what do. (NOTE: His soul is choosing to show up that way so I can see where I am losing power to what I am over-identifying with. He is the stand-in for the now. I was first thrown off my center when I was a child. The actors back then are not able to be in the show now.)
SPIRITUAL ISSUE - To relive and express what had happened at age three years old. I don't have to remember what happened at age three as I have the fresh experience to give me that information. What I am doing is getting a change to relive the feelings, thought patterns, the decision I made to why it happened, how it happened and what I need to do to survive this, and the reactions of them and I. I get a chance to have the fresh experience (of the feelings and the pictures) to use a tool to heal it. This is the continuation of “What is bitterness?” and “Why it is there in my life in the first place?” Once I know how I know, I can then use a healing tool to diffuse it and file it away.
SETTING THE SEEN: As I said earlier. I got up and automatically knew I was going to be playing out a lesson. All day until about 10pm, I was in defense mode. Apparently, I was to push Scott to be in a mode. I needed him to give me a response. I could see what bitterness was, when it came into play, and that is the last way to defend myself with our communication.
WHAT TRANSPIRED: I was hurting him. I didn't want to. I knew that a bigger picture was unfolding. I have to play out this program and thank you God for I am able to be soul coach mode to observe why I am humanly going through this. We could not get into an agreement about anything. I would be talking about something and he would answer as if I wasn't there. He would take what I said and say it as if he came up with it. Then he would ask me not one question one way. He would ask me one question twenty different ways. That is when I realized it doesn't matter how I answered it as long as it didn't have any volume or disagreement with him. I am not to show any emotion but he is right. How many ways can you say the answer yes? I found out it can be many ways. I would begin to question whether or not I was right. I know the more I explained why I did that or how I know it to be true, he would continue to tell me no and then ask me the same question. I got fed up and walked away.
To my surprise, bitterness is my go-to survival communication mode. I am done. I can't do it anymore. This development of this "First" experience began when I was three and my reaction of "I deserve more but how do I ask without appearing selfish?"
BACK STORY: As a mere child of the age of three, I began to write in my little manual for living about "Don't do that! or “Do that!" As a child, I observed how my family members behaved, how the children treated each other. I wanted attention from my mom but I never got it. She never had time for me because of the other family members wanted it. They would get it by being mean and misbehaving. As I watched, if their behavior was hurting mom, I would write down, "Don't do that." If mom was happy, then I would write, "Do that." My mother was always stressed.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT: We had a date night and a gift to stay in a hotel for a night. We got two free drinks with it. We sat at the bar and worked on the issue. I investigated and he wrote what he was feeling when this situation started. What affects and/or issues was brought to the surface for him to work on. As I wrote and reviewed all the information I placed on the shelf, I shared it with him. At first he only spoke in hurt language but then his higher self came through and he began to see the bigger picture also. We resolved a lot but spiritual investigation and I later did healing tools on myself.
HIS POINT OF VIEW: 12-28-12, 10pm. I was sitting at the hotel bar with my wife going over the day’s events and how I had felt from all of it. These are some of the statements that came to mind.
“I do not feel that I am believed”. “I cannot give the correct answer as whatever I will say will be wrong” We ended up talking about this without blaming each other. Stopping the blame stopped the judgment. The need to hurt each other vanished.
RELATIONSHIP GOAL: Stay together. We are worth it.
HEALING TOOLS USED: Brenda did many different healing tools at once. All resolved.
RELATIONSHIP AFTER HEALING: Great. We are back in sync. No awkward feelings. No hurt. No egg shell walking. Working together.
NOTE: After I investigated a little. I would say, "If this is it, then so be it" and wave my magic wand (finger) in the air. If I am truly done with the lesson then everything will shift immediately. If I am to continue collecting, then nothing will change. I just take that insight and put it on the shelf.
WHAT IS HAPPENING BEHIND THE SCENES: You see, the energy is emitting off of me. We as humans do that. We create chemical peptides for every thought we think. If some thoughts vibrate with much meaning we give them of how we know the situation the more energy it emanates out. Remember what is transpiring between my husband and I come from the past programming of how to behave. It is the first events that throw us off center of love when we were younger. Since it wasn't resolved, we have to now bring them up in a relationship so they can consciously be at the surface to resolve to evolve. I am asked by my soul to heal this instead of deal with this issue again and again. Get it right the first time and resolve it. (Resolve the chemical peptides that are locked into a pattern of survival.)
NOTE: Mirror Consciousness: old way to get you (the observer) to stop focusing (over identifying) on that pattern or program of pain. IMPORTANT: we can turn a wave frequency into a particle.