Relationships: Thursday, December 27, 2012 10:00 am it started.
I got up today and of course I prayed before I fell asleep. I asked for answers to help me see why my bronchial tubes wheeze. The universe answered not just one answer but many. I will do my best to show you what Spirit wants to teach.
EMPATHY - Feeling that I just broke their heart. I didn't live up to their rules. I broke them and now I have to pay for it. Their self talk has increased and they are mulling things over rapidly. They hear more then a few thoughts at once. They are stressed and caught up in their red flag.
PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS - instant wheezing. Unable to cough it up.
EMOTIONAL - I felt sad and their grief. I did something wrong.
MENTAL - The self talk of OMG, what the hell did I just do (blaming of self). I feel him being mad at me. All I wanted was to take the opportunity to...
SPIRITUAL ISSUE - I wanted to take the opportunity to get my sons hair cut so I didn't have to. I really don't like cutting hair. For money sake I have to. I also love my kids and husband so I don't mind doing it. Secretly I didn't want to cut my sons hair. He will be getting his senior pictures taken and I am a terrible hair cutter. I don't want him to look bad or have those nasty comments people make. I still have to heal the hurt with words.
SETTING THE SEEN: I got up from sleeping all night. I was still foggy in the head. Greeted my husband with a kiss and pleasantries of good morning dear. He asked, "What do you want for breakfast?" An old pattern emerged from me. I heard it come out of my mouth. I didn't want to say it but there it was. It is a sign for me to look at later. Why? Because it makes me lose personal life force power. It depletes me to have this program. It destroys the relationship. I said, "I don't really feeling like cooking." He looks at me and said, "I didn't say you had to cook!" In the past, it was a cue that I must do my part as a "Good Girl" Then I sit down to my computer. I popped open facebook to see if the hair cut lady responded to my message I sent the night before. I really want my son to get his hair cut done by a professional. I want him to look good in his senior pictures. I am a terrible hair cut person. I just know how to pick up scissors and cut. I noticed the hair cut person did respond. I asked how much and if she had time. Yes she did and this is how much. I said great. I sent her my plans to expect this many people. She agreed. I then tell my husband, yes, we got in. She will cut your guys hair today. That is when it happened. He did his best to agree with me. "I don't have any money, he says." Ask her, "If she takes debit card?" I could feel it. I let him down some how. I could feel the grief. He continues to talk without hurting me with words. It don't take words.
WHAT IS HAPPENING BEHIND THE SCENES: You see, the energy is emitting off of him. We as humans do that. We create chemical peptides for every thought we think. If some thoughts vibrate with much meaning we give them of how we know the situation the more energy it emanates out. Remember what is transpiring between my husband and I come from the past programming of how to behave. It is the first events that through us off center of love when we were younger. Since it wasn't resolved, we have to now bring them up in a relationship so they can consciously be at the surface to resolve to evolve. I am asked by my soul to heal this instead of deal with this issue again and again. Get it right the first time and resolve it. (resolve the chemical peptides that are locked into a pattern of survival.)
WHAT TRANSPIRED: I was hurt. As his wife, I walk into his room to confront him. The feeling was just so strong. I had to know. I asked, "Are you mad because I won't cut your hair?" He said, yes I am. (As a soul coach - I could see he took it personal as well as gone into semantics. I was hoping he would be honest with his words and not walk on eggshells to get his point across.) what am I suppose to think. The last time you said, "You stopped cutting my hair was because you were mad at me." (spiral of association: see below)
SPIRAL OF ASSOCIATION - the old hurt of when I decided I was done and no longer wanted to be his wife. I did say, I was done. I no longer want to cut your hair because I was mad at you. I was mad because you stopped appreciated it and no longer accepted as love. It became conditional and if I didn't do it then there was hell to pay. I grow sick of doing it. I couldn't do it anymore. I was tired of the "Have 2's". Have 2's is a written in stone forever contract with no way out clause. It will feel like the end of the world will happen if you stop doing it. It is part of the enabling hell process.
BACK STORY: I left him because I was done. I couldn't take that relationship from my point of view anymore. The entanglement cord of relationship was I was stuck repeating the have 2's. There was no longer any love coming from him. I couldn't feel it even if he was sending it. All I could feel was the resentment, anger and the grief that he thinks I caused to him. I must forever pay. I had changed and no longer vibrated in that old relationship. Growth happens and no one can stop it. Nor should we. Growing together is the key. Growing separately is what hurts.
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT: I said great now we can heal this. The old story surfaced. Lets not waste this. We did healing tools.
HIS POINT OF VIEW: Thursday, December 27, 2012 11:40am
The morning started like any other typical morning when I had the day off from work. I was on my computer reading my morning news and comic strips when my wife entered. We said good morning to each other. Her back was bothering her so she could not bend over so I stood up to give her a kiss. Everything was going good. She got on her computer, which is a few feet away from mine, and proceeded to check her Facebook messages and email.
After a few moments doing her thing, she mentioned something about getting our son Christian’s hair cut today and she also mentioned that she would like to have her friend with the beauty salon cut mine too. I said something along the lines “You want her to cut my hair too?” She said “Yes”. Right away my thoughts raced back to the time nearly a year ago that she told me she had quit cutting my hair in the years prior because she was mad at me. After we resolved things last winter she was starting to do many things for me again, one of which was to cut my hair. Now when she said she once again wanted someone else to do it, my mind went back to the time when she told she was mad at me. We had a bit of a tiff over it and after we did some healing it was resolved and now things are back to our new normal.
RELATIONSHIP GOAL: Stay together. We are worth it.
SPIRITUAL INVESTIGATION: Brenda did her spiritual investigation with hope therapy. I found out that at age two I was through off my center of love. This means that I marked an event of when I was two years of age. We have twelve frequencies in our body. My Note A bladder organ and lung meridian were out of balance. I picked up his Note A of Tendency to do to others before it is done to you. I also went into my note D as an overachiever to fix this energy imbalance. Meaning I wanted to settle it and be done with the pain. My younger self would bend over backwards to stop the pain they are feeling and not to hurt her.
HEALING TOOLS USED: Husband used hope therapy. Held R1D yearning to be loved by thinking about how the love is taking away. 0-10 and color testing. Used tool went down some and migrated to another spot. Testing color and number. Held R2D but worked on lung issue of cloudy thinking. All resolved.
RELATIONSHIP AFTER HEALING: Great. We are back in sync. No award feelings. No hurt. No egg shell walking. Working together.