What we find out later from others is that it wasn't enough, right, correct and smooth or graceful. What message do we receive from this learning? Our self-talk will be determined by how the message was delivered and how we react to it.
If it was delivered with love, then we might miss it and keep doing it anyway and eventually we become better because practice came to us without even knowing we were practicing. We might understand what the critics are saying and find out how to do it better. But what will spark us to want to do more? Will we be encouraged to see it in the way that makes us want to put the effort into perfecting it? Will the encouragement help us to go further, learning it with love and desire and passion and conviction or become out of sync with it? It is easy to condemn ourselves for doing it wrong and grow to hate the event when being forced to do it. We become out of sync with our self-esteem and with whatever the event is.
What words will be used? Will critical, constructive criticism be the method? It has such a bad connotation to it. I know I don’t hear it the simple way - of show and tell and the "to do" something. Most people have been abused so much by words that when they hear the criticism it actually goes through a lens of a program that translates into abusive words as in "You are stupid", "Stop trying, you aren't going to get it right anyway", "Get out of the way and let me do it", and "You are so stupid that I have to do everything myself" to list a few. The person receiving the message only collects proof that they are always doing it wrong, they will never get it right. enhancing the program of Freeze mode and not getting beyond that point.
Those that are speaking the criticisms thrive on being right and they often do not care about being nice. From their point of view, they would rather be right then happy. I love love and I would rather be happy then right. I know I have my way but it isn’t as important to teach or force that person to get it because it isn’t suppose be taught from me any way.
Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.
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I'm vulnerable to criticism. Any artist is, because you work alone in your studio and, until recently, critics were the only way you'd get any feedback.
I have learned as I aged that the word feedback is less threatening then criticism. Let us brainstorm is another word that is diffusion. It involves the other person so they are involved in how to get the wheels going to what they think of how to get the results that are measured as the best for them.
The old way the Hierophant taught was by making you work for it. You must use your brains to make it through the maze of hell to overcome. Once you taught yourself that you can overcome then nothing will stop you. You know the path that you have to take to get the results required. I believe that way has taken its toll on group consciousness. We had fight/flight/freeze, where we instinctively did a freeze discharge and could not hold the memory of the pain. We know how the memory of the pain and anger were the negative emotions that got us out of fear. Well, energy wise. I see people overcoming but not forgetting. The not forgetting is now haunting. It is the memories that hold the most pain and the pain tells the universe that is what it knows and wants.
To be continued.