I didn't sleep on the couch like I said. I went into my room. My physical self has been healthy and quiet for hours. I get into the room barely sit my buttocks on the bed and bam; I begin to cough from deep inside my lungs. I thought wait a minute what age of me doesn't want to go to sleep or be in this room. It was my two year old self. Moments earlier I could feel my sympathetic nervous system relax and let the parasympathetic nervous system kick in. I could feel myself rest and digest. Now, setting on the edge of my bed I don't feel that rest and digest. I said to my two year old self; let me feel what you are feeling. I used my imagination and I went into a space where my heart hurt. I muscle tested and it was my heart meridian that was affecting my lungs. I said, to my two year old self. I will hold the heart point L1D and let me feel the pain for you. I laid there nice and warm. My body wasn't wiggling. I felt my two year old broken heart. I wanted to cry. I am so glad I had a healing tool. It is an amazing tool to use. I would say after about thirty minutes the heart break was gone. I checked in with my two year old self and she is happy. I then lay there wide awake. I want to talk to my hubby. I didn't bother him. I turned and held him close. I was happy. I felt like my old self again.
I now can look at this strategy that my two year old come up with. I wonder if she will still take things personal and misunderstand them or see through my forty five year old eyes. We will wait and see. The day hasn't really begun yet. I love life. I better get myself back in bed. Some of you are wondering what time it is. It is 7:30 am. I just kissed hubby to have a good day at work. Now I will go to bed. I am so happy and excited. Let the Parasympathetic nervous system kick in.
I had a great day. My day started by waking up to a friend stopping by. We chatted and I learned I don't like to break a promise. I have to change my words to allow me to keep the answer open ended. I know that I follow spirit and sometimes people don't like my answer because it isn't aligned with their choice.
I got treated out for dinner. Yum. We went to Applebee’s. The family has a friend there. She got off duty as we sat down to eat. We got to catch up. I loved it. I enjoyed my meal and brought some home for tomorrow’s lunch. The night with the family was great. We played Mario Cart. I also made an eBook template. I am learning how to put a video in my eBook. So far, I am not finding anything such as free advice which means to me no success on this adventure with my desired outcome to my question. A lot of 30 day free trial and I know there is a way to do it. Thank you, Spirit, for bringing me the answers.
After last night’s healing of my two year old heart, I was able to see how my program of the old me would say yes to not wanting to hurt anyone. I think deep down I wanted to say know. I don't want to hurt anyone because I know I didn't like to be hurt. I don't want to be the bad guy. As a child, I learned quickly to tend to my fathers
"He made all the decisions and when did I give up my power to him?" I wrote it as, "When did I give up my power, when he made the decision and it was final." It is a way to take my voice of the equation. Dang. Once I saw what I wrote, I realized Spirit was telling me something. I will observe what to do next; I can do one of two things. Will I resolve to heal or put on the shelf?
I gave myself a reading. My soul said it happened when I was twenty-three. That was the time in my life when I was getting ready to leave my husband. I couldn't take it anymore. My mother had cancer. I had to drive two hours to get to her every day to take her to therapy. One night I was sitting in the kitchen table and I had it. I was reading the bible and I turned to God and I give all of myself to him. I let spirit lead me. I got the bravery to leave my cheating husband and move forward. He was a good man but not to me. We didn't work together. We did in the beginning but there was that one faithful day when his heart got broken by his parents. It changed him forever. I held on because I loved him. I ignored the nuisances because I thought he was worth it. I was so naive back then. I must get back to the 'him' part. My sensory system physical body and brain over time turned spirit him to a man him. I was always loyal to him, even when I broke away. I would go into automatic response. A simple thing he would say would be, No you don't need a blanket you got me, turned in my head to hear the old program, you can't use that electric blanket we don't have money. So I say no. I think he thought he had to pay the price for everything I do. I cost him. This leads back to me projecting him to be that way because that is what my two year old felt. It was her fault. I watched in my youth that I had to obey him. For a two year old, I watched the people around me do that. Father was a broken man and a drunk with a violent temper. When he was a boy, the brutality was unmentionable. Then at 3 years old I got a new daddy and I had to obey him. He was more strict then my real father.
Having all this knowledge of knowing how I know is great but thinking about it only will just create it become worse. Let us stop repeating history. I am off to use healing tools to help me resolve how I know and finally process that first moment.
I went to bed at am and got up at 11 am. I feel refreshed. I really believe I feel like taking care of myself today. It is a good feeling. I even did my hair and put on jewelry for whom? ME! I didn't have to force it or create a pep talk. I just am really getting good results from my healings'. It is becoming more and more effortless to be my true identity.
I had a wonderful day. I did my, Medicine Women Reveal Show, on Sepianc.com/radio. The energies were a bit off. The clue is I would rather be doing something other than. I have to say the people in my house are emitting resounding waves of this. Once I figure out what it was. I speak it out loud to them so they will own their thoughts and success the computer worked again and the show was now on air. Had a great time snuggling, playing games and watching one of my favorite TV shows, "The Supernatural." I went to bed at Pym and slept like a baby until a dream woke me up. It was of my business partner. I woke up overheated and thought what the hell. I noticed right away that I was groggy. I was wide awake. I looked at the clock and it was only 12:20am. I knew that my business partner was sitting in the living room. I get up and say okay tell me about your night. So she did and now it is 4:23am. She had fun but was being responsible of some twangs that came up. I soul coach her. She did some healing. I am wide awake. That sleeping time seemed like a supercharge nap.
CLUE: I need to find out why she can affect me like that? I was sleeping deeply.