I put the golden lasso out to find another place to speak and share my message. I found one but this one cost money. The woman who owns it sounds like me. We have a similar language. I am drawn to her. I think she is my next teacher. I am now looking for sponsors. What is shocking to me is that I never ask for money. The last time I got the courage to do so it was thrown in my face. The feeling of energy exploded at me as well as the words were saying that is all I wanted and how dare I use them. Right up front, I was even willing to pay it back. I was told it was a gift. I did a lot of hope therapy on that subject. I must have done it enough to see the next thing to heal on my journey to become a better me.
Motivation is very important.
Most of you that have been following along know that part of me (four year old self) learned that humiliation is needed to be humble. I know people force me to be humble by using humiliation. Humiliation is not the displayed like we are used to but for me it is how my four year old defined it. The force is their intention of their standards and how they don't like mine. I feel the energy. Remember I am not blaming. I am observing how they are a stand in for my first time experience that happened at four years old. The adult in me is so well programmed that I hear people that disagree with me because of their beliefs; I think I am doing it wrong and therefore I have to obey and change myself to be more to what their standards and programs are. I do not do this consciously. This is an automatic response. I am unaware at time that this is happening. It was a gradual buildup that it didn't stand out and say, “Hey wait this is wrong.”
The gradual change is like the frog story I shared. I also see it as, we have been so use to the airplanes that we don't think twice of them and them flying overhead. We are used to clouds and they don't scare us. We can conceive it because we can perceive it. The gradual dumping of what the planes are doing overhead is really unnatural. We think that it is just the fuel or is it something else. If you listen to the people that are speaking of the issues, they will tell you of the hidden truth of what really is happening. If we are used to it and we hear what they found out, we would deem them ridicules and that is not true. But it is a seed planted and we begin to wonder why or what is happening. If you were to look at the sky 50-100 years ago it would be really different than today. I will not be getting into this theory here. I am pointing out that the gradual affects and mixed with what we are already conceiving that we don' blink an eye of the harmful changes that are happening around us. We just think they are natural. I kind of understand the movie. "The Devil Wears Prada" better. They dictate what and how we buy.
Donna DaVane said that it is important to be you and she used the word humble as a way for me to grow. I wanted to laugh because of how I was learning about it. I love the universe. It was a great day.
I must take and define how I motivate myself to do or not do. Exercising has been eluding me. I hurt my hip and unable to do certain things but it isn't stopping me from doing something. I will explain that in diary of exercising.
Change in progress
1. Sleeping the cycle that my body was built to do. Much better. I go to bed by 12:30am.
2. Thank you Therapy and Golden Lasso.
3. I do 5 minute routine.
4. After the neurolympathic rub I trace my meridians
5. Because the meridians I have, that are out of whack in the morning are consistent, I do strengthening the acupuncture points exercise. During the time I started this diary, I have made a chart that helps me log. Maybe I can make another chart or check list. It has to be placed where I see it.
6. Witnessing on receiving. This is proof of my healing. The receiving has increased that I have noticed. It is now that I am to train myself that it can happen all the time instead of just once in a while. This helps me not to fall back into oh thinking and receiving habits.
Changes coming up
2. Radio shows
3. Eating healthier
4. Write book