- Free soup
- Great parking
- Green lights
- Free food - samples first pickings and not the last or bottom of the barrel.
- Dinner card.
- Watch your step. Something spilled on the ground and someone nice told me.
- People are excited that I am going to be in a certain area that they are reposting for their friends to know.
- People calling in the show saying "Thank you" and how they love the show.
- We were told that "Medicine Women Reveal" is getting popular in the Philippines, Australia, Canada, Hawaii,
- Support from my family.
Photo Credit: feng-shui.lovetoknow.com
At any given point of life, we are constantly being in and out of two energies. One is positive and one is negative. If we over identity with the pain and suffering in a moment, (event, experience) then the scales are tipped to be out of harmony. The negative will become negativity and it will begin to hurt and deplete instead of being that contrasts to see the other energy. Our life force must go where our focus is.
Important to notice: What kind of quality are our thoughts? We have 41 thoughts per minute. That is an average of 60,000 thoughts per day. There is only one voice but many people, stories, wounds, rules, beliefs, limitations, decision, and values that use it. We get so use to the crappy life that we consider it a great life.
Spirit has taught me that no matter what the schedule is or how we want to honor it, one need to be careful to not stay too long in one place. You can still be honorable and loyal just make sure it isn't to limitations and denigrations.
I want to make sure I am authentic to myself and to you. By being 'Authentic' then you know what you are getting. As a rule of thumb, "I don't enable people to stay in their hells." Meaning that as a medicine woman, people pay me to help them resolve to evolve. I am a great listener and I get it. I also know that I would be doing you a disservice if I was just there to listen. Sometimes that is all there is needed. That mourning time is very important but when your soul is done living there and you are not, then that is when I can no longer honor your prison that you are creating around you. I will not support your hells. I also don't enable myself to build a hell and have it as my prison.
It was back in 2000, around 2 pm when I cracked. I stood there covered in hives. I broke out instantaneously from head to toe. It felt like my body went into shock. Not sure how I was still standing or alive. I did fall back into a chair and went numb and I couldn't speak or think. I could no longer live the way that I was. I just can’t keep doing the same thing every day. I loved my home, kids, husband and life but I was not created to be that way. I was going against my own soul. I was born to a mission and it was coming up fast that I would have to stand up and do it. I wouldn't be able to if I stayed where I was.
Insanity is doing the same thing expecting different results.
Photo Credit: I collected over the years.
I learned that if we divide things up then that is how we will continue to do the rest of our marriage. I know I had grown to feel alone. This was mine and that was his. It definitely would make it easier when it came divorce time. I don't want a divorce but I can't live this way any longer. I can't stop cleaning, cooking, taking care of the kids. That is unheard of and it was, "Wrong." But yet deep inside of me I couldn't keep living this way. So one day I said NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I stopped. I went on strike. The horrors that went across my face and body as I said those words and watched myself act in that manner. I stopped doing anything. I believed in the depths of my soul without proof in this life that the world was going to end and I caused it. To my surprise and gratefulness, the world didn't end. It went on. I learned if you do your part and he does
his part, it will soon be evident that you are doing it all alone and so is he. The result is resentment and bitterness. The resentment begins to grow because when we asked for a little help and get barked at then it becomes a very alone state to be. I now live in a community in my house where we share doing suppers together instead of just take turns. Each person does their little part and we just don't say thank you to one but to all that helped. I also find that even though I am good at it, it doesn't have to fall onto my shoulders only. There is also, if no one else will do it and you can't take it anymore so you do it and now it becomes your job for life. I am a person that does it right there and then because that is when it is best for me. Others in the family wait until the last minute and that is when they are at their best. By making sure we work together on a project whether it is making a dish of food or washing them, it doesn't fall onto just one pair of shoulders.
Photo Credit: I collected over the years.
Setting the precedent - to establish a pattern; to set a policy that must be followed in future cases. I hadn't thought about that before but it happens. I get more thanks you's and love kisses because what I do isn't set in stone. So when a loving gesture comes my husband’s way, he has learned to not expect them and when I do them they are little presents of love and he learned to appreciate them.
Learning to live in expectancy versus expectation. Expectations cause a list to occur, standards that some people can't live up to, causes divisions and wars. It causes negativity and denigration. It causes peoples hopes to fail. If you fail to live up to an expectation there is consequences because you failed to be responsible. If you know me responsibility means...The ability to show up. I see expectations as invitations for failure. When it has failed there is a punishment, they have the right to judge you, hurt you and be right. I have learned to live in expectancy, knowing something is going to happen. A journey isn't A then Z it is all the letters in between.
- There is the step before you transit onto the begging stage of growth.
- There there is door itself.
- Getting the room ready.
- Then the sculpting stage.
- The waiting room
- The different things to learn and experience
- The closure stage
- The releasing stage
- And back to the beginning.