It was great day. I did my show, "Medicine Women Reveal" with my business partner Jenn Tafel and my husband, Scott Bates. We proceeded to cook supper together. We eat and watched our favorite shows. Afterwards, we clean and play games. Well that night after we ate, we didn't really clean up. My body started to take a turn for the worst. I could hardly keep up with the way my body has acted like an air bag went off inside of me. We are playing games and I am checking out. I can't stay focused. I even said out loud I think I need to go to the hospital. I didn't go. I manage to overcome it by using anger to control it. I went to bed but it was a miserable night. I found a different part of the house to sleep to get away from peoples energies. I can't be in the same room with them for too long.
I woke up not wanting to live. I could feel the hormones just going nuts and me not having any strength to balance them. I am at the point of forgetting I have tools and that they even work. I mustered myself together because I had a job to do. I promised my good friend I would be a reader at her event. We went and had fun. I walked into the building and I thought I was not going to keep it together. My body was so overwhelmed. I could feel the insides of me swelling up and shutting of the airwaves. It propels me to the time when I had my gall bladder attack. The pain was so bad I couldn't handle it and I mentally kept checking out of my body. I am not sure where my mental state went. I just know when I came back into my body I would want to leave again quickly.
After the retreat event, my husband and I headed for the car. I am not sure what I picked up but damn it slammed me so hard. I stood there unable to breathe and urine began to run out of me like someone turned out a faucet. I finally got mad again and was able to gain my composer but now to find a restroom. We headed to the restaurant to meet up with my good friend to eat. We pulled in; I opened my door and bam it started again. I thought WTH? I raced to the bathroom and was all right. We sat and ate. We left and as soon as I stepped out of the restaurant it started again. I drove to the afterhour’s clinic. It was brand new and I got right in. I used their restroom. It was just in time. I swelled up so much that I lost my breath and about passed out. I throw up liquid but not really anything from my stomach. I was safe because I had a toilet for the other end. I know this is TMI but you need to know how bad it was. As soon as the episode was over, I was taken immediately to the back room. The doctor said we may have to rush you to the hospital. Thank God they didn't, I told them the procedure that my body does and what the other doctors do. I got a steroid shot and breathing treatment and some prescriptions. That reminds me of the time I got my gall bladder out. I was in the hospital in such pain that I wanting out of my body. When the nurse gave me four doses of heavy medication, I asked her why did it take so much. She said we have to get ahead of the pain so your body can feel safe again and it can handle it. What I learned that night was so important.
I haven't been able to write because when I got up on day 30th. I couldn't spell for the life of me. I knew something wasn't right. I can say that I am feeling better and I am getting to the bottom of this.
It was nothing but bed rest all day. It was a good day. My body is taking time to get better. I will be able to write all the healing that I have done as well as all the clues that I gathered. It is time to get back to the whole self and where I am supposed to be on my journey.